The Story - Revised

Preface

Christmas 2004
Nakia, Shaye-Maleigh,
Darren, and Gary-Dean

It's been a year now since Darren passed away. People say Time flies. I say that throughout this year, we were kept busy with the memory of Darren and just living day to day.

I've been very slow to update this site as things happen. It's actually a very hard process, not in the mechanics of updating this site, but in gathering my thoughts to write clearly. I have decided to rewrite the entire story of what happened to Darren in order to give you more of a background and an understanding of where he came from. I hope my memory will serve me well in reporting all this here.

So, here, finally, is the full story of Specialist Darren Howe.

Growing Up

I'm not going to recount all that I know of Darren's life. I'm his step-dad. I helped raise Darren and his brother, Brandon, since they were 7 and 6, respectively. I cannot say in any means that I was a father to them. They had a father that was very active and meaningful in their lives. I was 'the other guy'.

If I had to pick Darren's demeanor as he was growing up, I'd say it was focused rebellion. He would fight with me more than anyone else in his life since I was his step-dad. But as he grew into a teenager, he started talking to me more and always loved playing games with me, especially on the computer. He truly loved 'Quake nights' and LAN parties that I'd take him to.

When Darren was a junior in High School, he let everyone know he wanted to follow in his father's footsteps. Darren's mother, JoDee, had reservations about him joining the military, but I was not going to be one that stood in the way of what he wanted. His father, Steve Howe, had been in the Army reserves for as long as I had known him.

Military Life Starts

Leaving for Basic Training
Alexander and Darren

Darren joined the Army Reserves in his Junior year and was attached to the 308th Trans Co. Reserve Unit in Lincoln, NE. 31 May 2002, we took Darren to Lincoln, NE to board a plane headed for Ft. Sill, OK for basic training. My father, Don Klaus, had been stationed there during his military career with the Polar Bears Infantry Co. On 7 August 2002, we went to Ft. Sill, OK to watch his graduation ceremony and to see the new Darren. He had significantly changed. Even Nakia, who was his girlfriend at that time and later became his precious wife, said he was changed. There was more of a shine on him and his character than there was on his boots. I don't think I had ever seen him more proud or walking any taller. He fell in love with the military.

After a short vacation trip to Six Flags over Texas for the family, we came back to get on with life. Darren was all about changing his life. At one point, Darren told me he wanted to be a commercial pilot and go to flight school in Texas. This was the first time Darren ever turned to me first about life decisions. I told him that he would do better to not 'serve two masters'. He would be very busy without time for anything else. I don't know for sure, but I think Darren talked to his father, Steve, about all this and decided that he wanted to go full time in the Army as a career.

Darren applied to be transferred several times from the Army Reserves to the Active Army. He was turned down several times. His mother, JoDee, and I could see he was very distraught and frustrated with things. We told him that if he was really serious about this, he should talk to Senator Denny Byars in our area. I can't remember the day of the meeting and Darren never told us what was said, but within a week or two, Darren was in the Active Army and was excited beyond belief.

Family Life Starts

Graduation May 2003

Wedding Day May 2003

The next several events were a roller coaster ride for the entire family. Darren graduated from High School on 18 May 2003. He was happy to finally get out of school! Darren and the love of his life, Nakia, were married on 30 May 2003. Darren also became a father on that day to Shaye-Maleigh, then 2 years old. On 25 Oct 2003 he left for his infantry training at Ft. Benning, GA, the place he and Nakia would soon call home.

Infantry Graduation January 2004

14 January 2004 Nakia and I boarded a commercial plane for the first time to go see Darren. JoDee was already a veteran flier. The three of us flew to Atlanta, GA and drove down to Ft. Benning to attend Darren's Blue Cord ceremony and his Infantry Graduation. When we first saw Darren in a 'chow line', we could see that he was now fully a military man. He found his calling. I could see no signs of the boy I once knew.

That trip was a frustrating one. We rented a PT Cruiser to travel in the area and my wife fell in love with it. We hit a pot hole on base close to the PX and blew out both passenger side tires at 21:00 on a Friday night. We taxied to a hotel in Columbus leaving the car on base. The next day, Saturday, I spent looking for a towing service to get my car to some place that could fix the car. The company I rented from (I will not mention the company's name, though I will never be a customer of theirs again) said they were going to pick up the car and let us find another company to rent from. In order to not have my family stranded for the rest of the trip, I elected to fix the car with my own money. The aluminum rims were bent and the tires were ruined. $600 and 7 hours later, we were back on base. Darren didn't mind camping out at a motel for most of Saturday. He was off base and with his wife and mother. He was happy.

During this time, Nakia was expecting a baby. She hadn't told anyone that she knew she was pregnant. Nakia broke the news to Darren the 2nd day that we saw him so they could let us know together. He was so proud, I thought he would burst.

Darren went from his Infantry Graduation straight to Airborne school at Ft. Benning. 2 hours of paperwork and 15 minutes of a car ride later, we went from Kelley Hill to the main base. We said our goodbyes to Darren the evening of 18 January 2004.

Darren would be going through Airborne training at Ft. Benning and then he headed to Ft. Bragg for some more training. I can't recollect all the training he received, but he was going for Special Forces. It would have been a long road for him, but I'm sure he would have made it easily. I remember in a phone call he told me that he opted out of special forces. He wanted to be with his new family instead of going through several months of training and then most likely deployment without seeing much of Nakia, Shaye, and his soon to be born child. My chest wanted to leap forward in pride when he said that. He was turning into a man that was far better than I.

Ft. Benning at Last

I don't remember the date, but Nakia was excited to get down to Ft. Benning and start living there. Darren and Nakia started living the normal military life. Darren went to work for 8 to 20 hours a day and Nakia took care of their house, bills, and all other issues of the family. You could tell from the phone conversations that, although it was hard to get used to and their were complaints they had about it, they ultimately enjoyed living at Ft. Benning.

Gary Dean Howe became the newest member of the family 5 September 2004. JoDee, Alex (Darren's half-brother, my son), and I flew down shortly thereafter to spend some time with our newest grandson. We experienced a hurricane Georgia style when Hugo came up from the coast.

The Year To Remember

I will never forget the things that happened in 2005. My family experienced all the major stresses in a short amount of time.

January 2005	Darren was deployed to Iraq.
February 2005	Darren ended up with a hernia and was shipped stateside to have surgery.
March 2005	Darren had hernia surgery. Nakia and JoDee drove to Georgia to be with him during this time.
April 2005	Darren was re-deployed to Iraq.
May 2005	We put our house on the market, hoping to sell it quickly.
June 2005	Brandon, Darren's younger brother, was given orders that he would be deployed. He had joined the Army Reserves and trained at Ft. Leonardwood, MO. Brandon's soon to be wife, Jennifer, has a little girl.
July 2005	Jennifer and Brandon get married. Brandon is activated to get training before being deployed.
August 2005	I end up in the emergency room with stomach pains. My doctor puts me on a liquid only diet.
September 2005	I go in for a cholecystectomy after being on a liquid diet for 4 weeks.
October 2005	October 17th, 2005, Nakia gets the phone call that Darren was injured in Iraq
November 2005	November 3rd, 2005, Darren passed away at the Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio, TX. My business partner closes TIMEatics while I'm gone.
December 2005	My family struggles through the loss of Darren and having no income in November of December. I start a new job at a new company.

As you can see, we had several stresses in that year.

The Phone Call

Monday, 17 October 2005, while I was at work, Gayla, Nakia's mother, called me. She said some Sargeant had called Nakia and left some information. Nakia was going ballistic. I contacted this Sargeant and got as much information as I could. Darren was hurt. He was being flown to Landstuhl, Germany and then would be transferred to BAMC (Brooke Army Medical Center) in San Antonio, TX. I called Gayla back to confirm the information. She said she would get with Nakia immediately. I had to find my wife.

I got to my house and waited for my wife to come home from work. Once she got there, I told her to sit down. JoDee doesn't like it when I approach her that way and immediately got angry. I think it was because she knew bad news was coming. She broke down when I told her about the phone call.

I searched all over the internet for information regarding Landstuhl, Germany and any hospital I could call there to get updates. I finally contacted the correct department. Darren was enroute to the hospital but they knew nothing further.

Here are copies of the emails I sent out regarding Darren. They tell the story well enough.

Oct 17, 2005 8:26 PM CST

Subject: Prayer Request: Update on Darren
I've made a lot of phone calls and there's people I've missed. Please forgive me if I haven't called you about this.

Our son, PFC Darren D Howe was injured today in Iraq. The details are sparse at this point.

His unit was hit by an IED (Improved Explosive Device, or road-side bomb). I was told that Darren saved another soldier's life when this happened. Darren ended up with 3rd degree burns on 40% of his body including head, face, chest, arms, and hands. They have him incubated (breathing tube) and he has suffered smoke inhalation.

He is currently being transported to Ramstein, Germany. That is a good sign since, if things were very drastic, they wouldn't transport him at all. At 8:30 PM CST, Darren's father, Steve called and said that, through his contacts in the military (He used to be an EMT in the army), he contacted the hospital where Darren is being transported to in Ramstein. They say that it will be close to 9 or 10 hours before he is there, which puts it at 5:00 Am to 6:00 AM CST when he gets there. It may be an hour or 2 after that before we receive another update on his condition.

After they stabilize Darren at Ramstein, he is going to be transferred to a hospital in San Antonio, TX for recovery. As soon as we know he is headed there, we are going to find a way to get down there to see him. Steve's contacts at the hospital said he could be in Ramstein for up to 4 days before he gets transferred, depending on the state of his injuries.

I've put in a call to the Red Cross, which is how Brandon gets an allowance to leave. But, with the current state of things (Katrina and Rita), the red cross is swamped and I haven't received a call back from them yet.

Please pray for our family as this is a really difficult time. Brandon, Darren younger brother, is to leave for Iraq November 4th or thereafter and he wants to see his brother as well.

I will send another update on Darren condition as soon as I know something.

God bless you!

Oct 18, 2005 12:49 PM CST

Subject: Update # 2 on Darren Howe
This is another update being sent to multiple people over the internet regarding Darren's status.

First of all, I would like to quote an email from Captain Jim Hathaway regarding what happened.

-----8<-----
Darren was driving a Bradley Fighting Vehicle when it hit an IED, the explosion caused the Bradley to catch fire. Darren, who was already severely burned, was able to regain control of the Bradley and get it to a safe stop. This in its self was a great feat and he should be commended for it. He was able to get out of the vehicle with help from another soldier and he helped with the evacuation of the soldiers who were in the back of the Bradley. His efforts helped to safe the lives of each and everyone of those soldiers.
-----8<-----

I thank the Captain very much for his information regarding what happened.

Currently, Darren is in Landstuhl, Germany. Upon arrival, he was assessed with his entire face being burned, but there is the potential that he may not need a skin graft for his face. He may end up with some scarring though there.

His left arm is burned on the front side, his right arm is burned entirely, and both of his hands are burned entirely. When he arrived in Germany, they took him directly to the operating room since his abdomen was tense and distended. This was due to either the massive amounts of fluids they are pumping into him or the intravenous catheter that they are pushing fluids threw had ruptured.

In the operating room, they cut his abdomen open so that the pressure would not cause him to have difficulty breathing. His abdomen will remain open until the swelling decreases, so they have him in a 'temporary abdominal wrap'. They also did an escharotomy, the muscle cutting for burn patients that allows the muscle to swell without damaging the tissues. They said that there was no significant indication of dead cells which, hopefully means that he will not loose muscle tissue and have extreme physical therapy to regrow them.

When I called, they were prepping him for a bronchoscopy where they stick a tube down his esophagus to check his bronchial tubes for damage. He may have inhaled flames during the incident.

Currently he is sedated in a drug induced coma until they know how he is doing. They have not had a chance to test him for spontaneous movement yet to see if he has any nerve or spinal damage.

They put it at 30% of his body has 3rd degree burns. His vital are currently stabilizing. They will be performing a CT scan for any brain damage, swelling of the brain, and the potential for concussion.

According to the military, they will be flying my wife, JoDee, his mother, and Nakia, his wife, down to Brook Army center in San Antonio as soon as the doctors in San Antonio put in a 'request for family'. The Army may provide housing and some meals. I will be staying here in Beatrice, NE because Alex, our son who is 7, needs to stay in a structured environment. I am currently trying to find funds to cover JoDee and Nakia while they are in San Antonio. When they both went to Atlanta, GA when Darren had his hernia surgery, they had to stay in a motel room and it cost us very significantly.

It has been a hard ordeal so far for our family. We already received a lot of calls and have heard of people praying from Atlanta, GA to California and some people even in Europe who are praying for Darren. When I took Alex to school this morning (2nd grade) I told some of the teachers what was going on so that, if Alex was having a difficult time, I could bring him back home from school. Some of the teachers already knew about Darren but didn't know the name of the soldier.

I ask that you pray for the other soldiers who went to Germany with Darren, as there are 5 others who are just as critical, if not more so. There are also 2 others who were not as severely injured as Darren who were transported to San Antonio directly. I don't know there names, but God knows them well. Please pray for all these individuals and their units who are still in Iraq. There's emotional scars that probably running very rampant right now.

Make sure you show your support of the soldiers, regardless if you approve or disapprove of the war.

I will send another update when there's more to say.

Oct 19, 2005 1:42 PM CST

Subject: SPC Howe, Darren D - Update #3
This is another update on the status of Specialist Darren D. Howe, my step-son. Since some people have been added to this email list I created, this is a complete re-cap of all happenings.

Darren is currently deployed to Iraq with the active Army. He is a Bradley Personnel Carrier driver.

Monday, 10-17-2005, his Bradley hit an IED. This is a quoted email from his Commanding Officer, Captain Jimmy Hathaway:

An added note to this from the Rear Detachment of his company is that 'getting it to a safe stop' includes driving it out of the 'kill zone' which could mean driving as far as 300 yards from the initial point of contact. A Bradley can carry up 16 people in it, although we do not know how many people were in the vehicle at the time.

There are 6 soldiers (Darren + 5) currently in Landstuhl, Germany that came in at the same time. We assume that all 6 were from Darren's unit. 2 other soldiers were transferred to Brook Army Medical Center (BAMC) through Kuwait, though their injuries, requiring recovery, were not as extensive as the other 6. There may have been other in the field that were injured as well.

Lanstuhl, Germany has a medical center that its primary purpose it to stabilize the soldiers for further transfer. Below is a wrap up of Darren's current health. Please forgive me if it is very medical. I have tried to keep it as concise and correct as possible.

To sum up his current status, he is stable. He has 3rd degree burns to 30% of his body. He is on a ventilator, feeding tube, and has multiple burns consisting of his face, right & left arms, and right & left hands. There may be other, less significant burns, but I've been told of the most critical. There is potential that he won't need a skin graft for his face, but that's just speculation at this time by the lead doctor of the ICU.

He had inhaled both smoke and flame. They removed a lot of mucous and 'crud' from his lungs. The internal burns to his lungs are not life threatening at this time. His abdomen has been opened to allow swelling to happen without hampering his breathing. He has no other internal injuries at this time, according to an exploratory. They have also done cuts to the burn areas to allow swelling without damage to tissue or muscle cells. Things look well there so far.

According to my last update from Landstuhl, the burn unit from BAMC is already in Landstuhl, Germany. They left at 0700 CST Tuesday. They will be packing up the soldiers for transfer starting at 0300 CST Thursday. This potentially puts Darren and the other soldiers in BAMC, San Antonio, TX at 0200 CST Friday.

Realize that there are 3 soldiers that are burned worse than Darren. There have been no deaths from this incident.

Our family is asking for your prayers for Darren and the soldiers in his company. Those that were injured in the accident and those who are emotionally scarred at this time due to the event.

I have been calling the Casualty Office in Washington, D.C. and the Family Liaison Office at BAMC. They say that plane tickets will be given for JoDee, my wife, and Nakia, Darren's wife to go down to see Darren only after the doctors at BAMC put in a request for a family presence. It could be that JoDee and Nakia will have to wait until up to 3 days after Darren is in San Antonio before they will get tickets to fly there. If they arrive at the base on their own power (buying their own tickets or driving) they will lose the ability to have Army assistance. Besides the tickets for travel, the Army will provide $90 a day, with $44 of that going to lodging on base and the rest for meals.

Your thoughts and prayers are welcome and have been working to bring Darren and his unit to stability. God is awesome!

==================================================
Medical review, transcribed by Greg Klaus

2nd and 3rd Degree burns to 30% of body
Face:
Bi-laterally burned. There is potential for no skin graphs being done.
Bacitracin being applied

Left arm:
Anterially burned.

Right arm:
circumferential burns

Left and Right hands:
circumferential burns

Plural Infusion:
Slight. Continue to watch, no drain tube at this time.

Right eye:
Was patched upon arrival – No significance at this time. Looks fine.

Surgeries:
Escharotomy:
Left arm:
Cut down forearm
Thicker layer
Burn into muscle.
Good and pink.

Right arm:
Cut anterially and posterially on upper arm
Cut down wrist
Fatty tissue only

Right hand:
Up the back
Fingers
Palm
Fatty tissue only

Decompressive Laparotomy:
Fluid build up in abdominal cavity.
Temp abdominal wrap
Swelling is decreasing

Exploratory:
No internal injuries indicated

Bronchoscopy:
Removed mucous and other material
Indication of smoke and flame inhalation. Not life threatening at this time.

Currently on ventilator
O2 Stat (Blood Oxygen Saturation) was low. Adjustment of breathing tube and inhalation rate was required.
O2 Stat currently 94 – 95 100% oxygen

Highly Sedated
Versed
Phentanol

Topicals
Bacitracin – face
Silvadine – Right and left arms and hands

No spontaneous movement
One instance of combativeness with intentional movements during dressing change. Nurse indicated that he was 'saying' he didn't want to be moved. Significant strength.

Body temperature
Was low upon arrival.
Currently returned to normal

Feeding tube
Initially started at 10cc
Has been increased

Edema
Cerebral Edema
CT Scan: Negative - Looks good

Dressings changes every 2 hours

BP
Currently 140 / 80
Pulse palpable on all extremities.
Initially was on neosenepheren. When they took him off it, he dropped to 100 / 50 with a map of 62 – 64. They put him back on it and he returned to 140 / 80. Discontinued neosenepheren and started vasopressin.

Urine output good

Nurse indicated that the burn unit from Brook Army medical Center in San Antonio, TX is there. At 5:00 AM CST they will start to pack the soldiers for transfer. They should be off the ground by 10:00 am CST Thursday morning. The flight will be about 14 – 16 hours. This puts Darren in San Antonio, TX by 2:00 AM Friday morning.

Oct 20, 2005 8:34 AM CST

Subject: SPC Howe, Darren D - Update #4
The Army called this morning. If the flight goes well, Darren will be in San Antonio, TX by 10:00 PM CST tonight (Thursday)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oct 21, 2005 8:40 PM CST

Subject: SPC Howe, Darren D - Update #5
It's really hard to keep track of all this information at this time. Please bear with me if I leave holes in the information.

Since I took JoDee and Nakia up to Omaha to leave on a flight this morning (Friday), I finally let my guard down. People who know me will see that I'm very drained at this point.

JoDee and Nakia are now at BAMC. They have lodging and, I believe, they are currently with Darren as I write this. (A phone call from a source while I was composing this indicated that they are currently sitting with him now).

A doctor called me directly from the burn ward upon JoDee's request. He gave me a significant update on Darren and a small update on the other soldiers.

I will save you the medical information and just put it plainly here.

Darren has significant burns on his body. They are what is called 'full thickness', meaning that the skin and fatty tissue must go. The blood flow to his fingers is very low and the doctor said that there is high potential that he will lose fingers through this. By losing fingers, it could mean the tips of his fingers, up to the first knuckle, but hopefully not an entire appendage.

They are critically concerned about his distended abdomen. If it weren't for the fact that 3 other soldiers are in surgery right now due to them being burned even more significantly or hurt worse in other ways, Darren would be in surgery right now due to his abdomen alone. The fluids they pumped into him pooled in his abdomen and if they don't operate soon, it could ultimately cause damage to internal organs.

They currently have taken him off of almost all medications. They want him to wake up for a self-examination. This involves making sure he is cognitive and can move his extremities. They want to see how much nerve damage has happened. Pray that God blocks all pain or the memory of it from Darren.

So far, the optometry staff say that things are fine with his right eye. But, how the doctor was talking, there could be issues found at a later time.

They performed another bronchoscopy and removed significant material from his lungs. The tissue inside his lungs looks good. They don't think he will have any issues with his lungs as long as they can get him off of ventilation (the breathing tube) Every minute he has that in, he is susceptible to getting pneumonia or other respiratory issues.

His vitals are still good. Everything is working properly.

3 of the other soldiers are currently in surgery. They are significantly injured. Very bad burns that need to be attended to. Although the doctor could not tell me any more than this, my assumption from his conversation with me indicates that these 3 soldiers have been in surgery already for a very long time. He said that all soldiers are doing as well as can be expected in this situation.

Please continue that prayers. God is awesome and is listening to every one of us. I've relayed this thought over and over throughout this whole time. God is painting a picture for Darren and for us, one speck of color at a time. We can't see what the end result is. We can only watch and pray as we watch God paint an image, show his plan. Once God has revealed his plan, then we must act upon it.

Thank you!

Oct 22, 2005 8:55 AM CST

Subject: SPC Howe, Darren D - Update #6

It is currently 0830 CST Saturday. JoDee called me in a rush. The hospital called them and said that Darren was going in for surgery now.

I am unsure if they are rushing him into O.R. or if they have more staff on hand to allow Darren's surgery now.

Here are some other things that JoDee told me last night:

JoDee and Nakia talked with Darren. AND HE ANSWERED THEIR QUESTIONS! He was able to shake his head and look at them! His right eye is swelled shut, but he was looking at them through his left eye. He answered about 10 questions. They were just talking to him and then he opened his eye and started shaking his head to things like "Honey, you need to get some sleep. We need to go" [ NO ]. "Did you get the last package we sent you in Iraq" [ NO ]. "You do know your dad and Brandon are here as well as us" [ YES ]. He answered more than those, but that's just an example.

I hope to hear the full story of what happened soon. There are rumors of some far-fetched things happening being talked about by the families in BAMC. The story that we have told you is what I am sticking to until I receive further official word.

JoDee is going to give me updates on how the other soldiers are doing. Although she is gathering names as well, I will not be putting them here out of respect for the family and their privacy. I will, though, find out their condition and report on them as I hope we are all praying not only for Darren, but also his brothers in arms.

I'll send another email as I find things out.......

Oct 24, 2005 10:11 AM CST

Subject: SPC Howe, Darren D - Update #7
Sorry that it's been so long since I did an update.

Ok, here are things that are known at this time:

Darren has 3rd degree burns of 30% of his body. During surgery Saturday they took all the burned skin off and did skin graphs from his left leg. The burns he had were 'full thickness' which means they took every down to the muscle; all skin and fatty tissue in those areas. Before they took him into surgery Saturday, they thought he had a probability of loosing fingers. Now, they think he may be able to keep most, if not all, of his fingers.

Darren has a distended abdomen. When they pumped him with fluid to hydrate him after the accident, his body didn't use all of the fluid correctly, so it pooled in his abdomen. In Germany, they cut Darren's abdomen open to allow the swelling to happen without causing internal damage or hindering breathing. Saturday, they put a vacuum type tube in his abdomen to get rid of the excess fluid. His swelling has gone down some, but this swelling needs to be gone. It can cause damage to internal organs.

He has had brain swelling, but it's expected in burns of this caliber. His CT Scans have been fine.

Darren's lungs are not doing very well. First of all, he's a smoker. Second of all, he inhaled both smoke and flame. The doctors say they can see the damage now and are going to be putting him on nebulizing treatments to break up the dead cells and get them out of his lungs.

His kidney's are working, he's been awake once for JoDee and Nakia to talk to and he answered questions by shaking his head, so Darren is in there!

Sunday, they rushed him in for surgery since he had a high pulse and labored breathing. They thought he might have an infection in his abdomen. They re-packed everything but did not close his abdomen yet. They now believe that Darren is suffering from his first of potentially many infections.

Please keep your prayers going. 1 of the other 5 soldiers that have taken the same path as Darren (Iraq to Germany to San Antonio) has passed away. Darren was very good friends with this soldier. There are 2 other soldiers who are burned worse than Darren. I burned 80% and another burned 94%. Pray for them as well.

I will send another update once I hear from JoDee today.

Oct 28, 2005 12:03 PM CST

Subject: SPC Howe, Darren D - Update #8
It has been another long time since I've done an update. With JoDee gone to San Antonio, I'm very busy with things at home and spending time with Alex, our 7 year old son.

Currently:
Darren's burn to his face won't require any skin graphs at this time. There is still swelling that is visible on his face, but things look well.

The burns to Darren's arms and hands had skin graphs applied last Saturday. They have taken by 80%, meaning that only minimal skin graphs are required now, hopefully.

Darren's abdomen is still open. They sutured velcro (yes VELCRO) to both sides of his abdomen and are using that to 'pull' the sides together and, hopefully, close his abdomen sometime this weekend.

Darren was to get off the ventilator today, but, once they did that, his oxygen level went down to 84 and his breathing rate went very high. They are, right now, putting the breathing tube and feeding tube back in. It is unknown what they will do next. JoDee and Nakia were rushed out of the room when this happened and I will wait for an update this afternoon.

One new issue, Darren may lose part of his right thumb.

Other than the issues above, Darren is doing fine. He's answered questions with a yes / no shake of his head and even forced himself to say 'babe, I love you' even though he had the breathing tube in. It brought Nakia to tears!

Now, some other business. To answer a question some people have been asking me: Yes, SSG Alexander, who made nationwide news as the 2000th soldier to die in Iraq, was in the same Bradley as Darren.

I was in Walmart here in Beatrice last Monday and ran into Jay Stalder, the station manager for KWBE, the local AM radio station (1450). He's a good friend of mine and I told him about Darren being injured. The next morning, Tuesday, Doug Kennedy from KWBE called and did a phone interview with me. I thought he was going to start writing up a story about Darren to put on the air, but in less than an hour, the story was on the air here in Beatrice. It 'snowballed' from there.

Wednesday morning, KOLN/KGIN, channels 10 & 11, from Lincoln called for an interview with me. Not 2 minutes later, Channel 8, out of Lincoln as well, called. They both interviewed me Wednesday and had the story on Wednesday at 5, 6, and 10 pm. Channel 8 even added to the story saying that they found out that SSG Alexander was injured in the same incident as Darren. I was so upset that they were saying something I didn't even know and I also requested that they not mention any other soldiers in the stories. That gave me a new view about reporters.

After the video story on 10/11 and 8, the Lincoln Journal Star called and did a phone interview. Hopefully, I won't be getting any more calls. (I did miss one from National Public Radio / NPR).

It's a hard road that my family is going down right now and your prayers mean everything. God is still, as always, in control. I think He puts us on the bumper-car ride every once in a while to wake us up to the fact that He is always there and always will be there.

I've been overworked this week with everything going on and now I'm suffering. I've got a sinus infection. Work is suffering since I haven't been able to stay late at work to finish up some things. (I used to stay at the office until at least 8:00 pm or up to 12:00am so i could program without interruption).

JoDee and I had been talking about our family issues right after this incident. Our paster, in the past months, had covered some of the major stresses in a family. We've had quite a few of them this year so far...

1) Deployment - Darren leaving for Iraq in January
2) Moving - We are trying to sell our house (Started February)
3) Surgery - Darren's hernia operation in March
4) Deployment - Darren was deployed again in April
5) New Baby - Jennifer and Brandon's Haylee Jo
6) Wedding - Brandon married Jennifer July 2nd
7) Surgery - I had a cholecystectomy / gall bladder surgery (September)
8) Injury - Darren injured in Iraq (October)

I know I'm forgetting a couple of things in there somewhere.... :)

Here's a quiz for all of you: Which book of the Bible do you think I'm going to be reading tonight and the rest of this week?

Oct 28, 2005 1:25 PM CST

Subject: SPC Howe, Darren D - Update #9
Darren took a turn for the worse this morning as they were trying to take him off of the breathing tube.

At first, he was breathing fine, according to JoDee, but then his started to breathe rapidly and his oxygen level in his blood went way down. They kicked JoDee and Nakia out of the room. the doctors found a mucous plug in his lungs and they 'scoped' him right there in the room and sucked the mucous plug out. His heart stopped beating, so they had to shoot him with adrenalin.

They took him into surgery to see if anything else was causing a breathing problem.

........

JoDee just called me. He's out of surgery. They closed his abdomen more since he was in OR anyway. They found nothing wrong in his abdomen or any pressure points that would cause trouble. The doctor who just visited with JoDee said that they believe it was just the mucous plug that was causing the problem. The normal air in the rooms there didn't have enough oxygen to sustain Darren with the little lung capacity he has because of the plug.

JoDee said that Darren is going to stay on the ventilator for the weekend. They believe that this is the end of the hard road.

Please continue your prayers....

That was the last email I sent out about Darren while he was still alive.

Let me set the stage here before I begin. Alex and I have been at home this whole time. JoDee and Nakia have been in San Antonio, TX since October 20th. JoDee calls me several times a day and talks with Alex nightly as well. It's been a different reality for my family since October 17th. The sky is not as bright; the days not as warm; the nights grow long and painful in thought.

The Day

November 3rd 3:00 AM CST
I can't sleep. Not that unusual for me during that past couple of weeks, but tonight, I'm vividly awake. The phone rings. That sound has haunted me for several days. It's JoDee. She's breathing heavy through the phone; she's running to the hospital from the hotel they are staying at. The nurses called and said Darren was having a bad night. The hospital has made the official notification: If you don't live nearby, come immediately. I talk to the hospital staff and they confirm what JoDee has said. Darren is not doing well and they expect him to not last long.

I turned on Winamp on my computer and double-clicked on a song, leaving it in loop mode. An a capella version of "God Will Make a Way" soothes me as JoDee and I try to figure out how I'm supposed to get down there. JoDee talks to several people there and the Fisher House gets tickets for me and Nakia's mom and step-dad to go down.

I call up an awesome friend of mine for help. Dennis drops everything and runs to my aide, offering to drive us to the airport, praying for us and keeping my spirits up. I make several phone calls to let people know what's going on. Several people start coming to me, offering prayers and hugs and giving money to help with costs. I can't recall everything from this time, but I do remember professing that I was going to San Antonio to see a miracle. While people around me were breaking down and crying, I was holding fast to the words "God Will Make a Way".

Dennis takes us to Lincoln to catch our flight. We connect in Minneapolis and then on to San Antonio. I've always been nervous when flying, until this day. I was too involved in praying that God would perform a miracle, if it be His will, or allow us the time to get to San Antonio so I can be with my family. As you'll see, He did both.

When we got to San Antonio, we called to let JoDee and Nakia we had landed. We hurried to meet them, as they were waiting for us at the airport already. We immediately went to the Fisher House to drop our stuff off and checked with the hospital on Darren's condition. The hospital said it would be a little while yet, as they were changing dressings. JoDee introduced me to several people that she had become friends with during this time.

We finally went up to the hospital. JoDee and Nakia were going to go back and see Darren. We ran into the doctor on the way to the elevators. He explained in detail what was going on. Darren's kidneys were shutting down. A bacteria was causing metabolic acidosis. They were trying the most aggressive antibiotics to combat bacteria that was proliferating in his lungs.

We went upstairs and met more people that JoDee and Nakia had met. The waiting room was full of grave faces. We kept waiting for an update and the ability to take turns in going back to see Darren.

The Final Hours

We bode our time in the waiting room, hoping for some news. When it came, it was a shock. The hospital administrator came to us with the chaplin and the doctor currently attending to ICU patients. The doctor wanted to try 1 more antibiotic that was very dangerous. We were told that the metabolic acidosis that Darren was suffering from had caused his pH to go outside normal ranges. They said that he was brain-dead and we needed to make a choice concerning how long we keep Darren on life support. JoDee looked at Nakia and said that Nakia had all the right to elect what was going to happen. Nakia asked the doctor to try the antibiotic and that, if unsuccessful, to remove life support.

We waited for what seemed as hours before they came out and said that the antibiotic was not helping. They escorted us back to Darren's room without subjecting us to the wearing of gowns, gloves and masks.

The room was warmer than I imagined. There were several machines gathered around Darren, more so than you ever see in the movies. The gravity of the situation weighed heavily on each of us in the room. Tears fell like rain. Staff at the hospital came to us, crying all the same as us. The attending doctor had a look of dejection about him; I could tell that regardless of how many soldiers died in his presence, they hurt and scarred him profoundly.

We gathered around Darren, talking to him. Then, after a while, the order was given by the doctor. The staff started removing all the machines and gave Darren morphine for any pain he may experience. We continued to talk to Darren. The chaplin started praying and saying the Lord's Prayer. I started to pray with him. Off duty staff started showing up after being told of Darren's situation by phone call. The staff here took everything personally; they cared, in the deepest sense, about their patients.

There was a stillness in the room. Only monitors remained attached to Darren. We all intensely watched the heart monitor as it gained speed. Because the breathing tube had been removed and the lungs were not getting pure oxygen, Darren's body was suffocating. If you had put a stopwatch to it, it would have been short. Rather, it was the longest moment in our lives. The final goodbyes were spoken. The final prayers were said. The heart monitor sounded an alarm and was immediately silenced by staff. Darren was gone.

Weakness hung on us all. We were allowed to stay in the room for as long as we wanted. Hugs; cries of despair; sobs of pain. No words can fathom what was felt in that room.

The Day After

We returned to our rooms in silence. Several people came to console us and offer their condolences. No one slept. we talked of Darren throughout the night.

Our attention turned to getting home. I called my parents to shield Alex from everything: keep him home from school, no news or newspapers, take phone calls in another room. JoDee and I wanted to be there for him.

We called to get progress on locating and notifying Brandon, Darren's brother. We found that Brandon had been deployed at 6:30 AM CST, 3 November 2005. Darren's official time of passing was 10:38 PM CST, 3 November 2005. Since Brandon was on his way to Kuwait, it could take a long time before he knew of these events. We found out later that Darren passed away while Brandon was in Germany, waiting for another flight. The Red Cross was able to contact his Commanding Officer, but the Officer elected to wait until Brandon and his company reached Kuwait before telling him. They had no chaplin or other support personnel on hand to give Brandon any support or guidance.

The Aftermath

I returned home in the afternoon of 5 November, 2005. I had barely been home for 30 minutes when the phone rang. Lieutenant Colonel Brito, Darren's Company Commander, called me to offer his condolences. I cannot to this day recount the words I spoke to him, save that I said that I would never speak of Darren with grief in my voice; only pride. Also, that we shall continue our prayers for all soldiers.

JoDee returned later that night. We went to get Alex and had the hard duty of telling Alex, then 7 years old, about what had transpired. It hit Alex hard, but he was more concerned about his mother than his own feelings.

Brandon returned on 6 November 2005 after being in the air almost constantly since the morning of the 3rd. Anger was the suit he wore.

We spent a week preparing for the funeral. As fate would have it, without realizing it, the funeral was setup for 11 November, 2005; Veteran's day.

The funeral was memorable. It was held at St. John Lutheran Church in Beatrice, Nebraska. The largest church in town. It was barely able to hold all those who attended. Many stated it had to be over 800 people that entered the church that day. All walks of people where there: politicians, all branches and ranks of military personnel, lawyers, doctors, chefs, teachers, farmers.

The Patriot Guard were a blessing. We thank them profusely for showing us the honor they did by protecting us from the picketers and being part of the escort for Darren. One of their ranks wrote a story about the encounter. I encourage you to read it. There's a copy of it here.

Darren's family was honored by how many people turned out to line the streets as we proceeded to the cemetery. We were not alone in the anguish and sense of loss. We are proud of our town for what they have done.

Life continues for us, but with the weight of loss. Darren is still very prevalent in our lives. Not a day goes by without thinking of him. Even the smallest of things can incur thoughts of him for hours.

We are proud to be Darren's family. We are resolute in telling others that what the United States of America is doing in Iraq is the best option before us. If we were to 'pull out', Darren's death, and the death of so many other fallen heroes, would be all for naught. We pray each day that God would ensure that the fallen are not forgotten or dishonored by not completing the task they died while working towards.

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